Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Circus Sideshow?

Well, I have decided that I might be able to obtain a position as a circus sideshow if nothing else becomes available. It seems, in my family, when one of us goes to the doctor with an ailment, it is seldom ever a runofthemill "oh, you have [insert runofthemill ailment here]." Instead, we hear "oh, you have something weird that I have never seen before" from Dr. Soandso.

This all seems to stem from my mother's side of the family. This apparent anomaly in our unique collection of cells got me to thinking today about how many strange ailments or non-medical occurrences we have encountered over the years, and I thought I might share some of the reasons my mother and I have called in sick or late to work (or had to leave early) at one time or another. Keep in mind that these were REAL reasons to call in; even though I had a manager who did not believe me on one of these, they all really occurred.

1. Tore my meniscus when stepping off the curb at the library (me)

2. Ants are eating my nylons right now as I am trying to put them on, SO I will have to stop off for a new pair on my way into work (me)

3. I got a paper cut on my eyeball and spent the night in the Emergency Room (me)
4. The antibiotic I took this morning is causing an anaphylactic reaction, and I think I might pass out (so I must leave work now and go immediately to the Dr.) (me)

5. Bone chip loose in my ankle and it has caused damage to surrounding tissue

6. The high school marching band is practicing on the street and blocking my driveway right now, so I will have to wait to pull out until they have moved

7. I have hooked the bumper of my vehicle onto the bumper of the power company vehicle parked in front of my house, and will not be in until I get myself unhooked.

8. (added Feb. 2010): I have spontaneously broken my foot in TWO places by stepping out the front door over the threshold. I will call after my visit to the orthopedist and let you know when I might be allowed to return to work...

If we were talking about things not connected to work,

I'm sure I would have been able to create a Top 10.

What strange or odd reasons have you had to call in sick or late to work?


ChickiePea said...

Oh I laughed so hard at this. I will have to remind myself to come back and post mine too. LOL

(DH is calling me to turn out the lights and laptop and come to bed.)

I'll be back... with my own! :D

ChickiePea said...

Random ones I can think of off the top of my head:

-My mother: cut her eyeball on a Little Debbie snack-cake wrapper that she had folded back. The cellophane popped up and scratched her eye.

-Weird affliction to my knee that rendered me unable to walk for a month due to not being able to bend my leg without excruciating pain. Doctors all said I was faking it for meds. It left as suddenly as it appeared.

-Mishap trying to open craft glue when working for the YMCA afterschool program. Emergency eye-dr appt, but all was well.

-Blinded by sunlight and put my car in the ditch. DH had this happen, but hit a parked car.

-Fell off my bed in 5th grade and landed on a doll bed. A 4-poster doll bed. On my posterior. I didn't sit for a long time.

-Anaphylactic shock to antibiotics. Three different ones. Anaphylactic shock to SUDAFED!

-Concussion from hitting my head lightly on a plastic keyboard tray. At work.

-Pink eye. And then a reaction to the meds. And then a reaction to the meds that were suppose to heal what the original meds had done. Arghhh!

I'm sure there are more... LOL... I'm a walking disaster sometimes ;)